Ron the Time Traveller
by tumshie
Summary: This drabble was written a while ago on the question what would happen if Ron Weasley got the chance to go back in time. Slight Ron bashing. Please note this is a oneshot and will not be added to.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter and other canon characters belong to JKR I'm only having some fun

This came from someone asking what if Ron was sent back in time to be a true friend to Harry. Previously posted on the Seelvor Yahoo Group.

**Time Traveller Ron**

Ron looked around, puzzled, he'd went to bed after his usual bedtime snack of a small sandwich, 1/2 pound of meat on thick crusty bread spread with thick creamy butter and topped off with some cheese and full fat mayo, sure he'd had some indigestion afterwards but he put that down to the Muggle coke he'd added to his half bottle of Firewhisky nightcap, but where was he now?

The room looked vaguely familiar, it reminded him of his Healer's waiting room, right down to the out-of-date magazines and official looking posters, well at least the indigestion was gone, but how had he got there?

He picked up the nearest magazine but quickly threw it back down as he realised it was the one with the article when he was sacked as the coach of the Cannons after one season. Not only had they been last as normal, but they'd had their lowest points average ever. He thanked the Quidditch Gods that Percy had managed to get him a job in the Ministry in the Magical Games and Sports Department as a  
travelling spokesman for the British Quidditch League.

He heard his name being called and the voice directed him into a room with a light over the door. He went in and the figure behind the desk directed him to a seat, and fixed him with a glare, or what would have been a glare if the skeleton actually had eyes.

Feeling a bit disconcerted by the black-robed skeleton and the scythe leaning against the wall, Ron opened his mouth to speak, but before he could he heard a sepulchral voice.

"Ronald Bilius Weasley, are you deliberately trying to make my afterlife difficult? No don't answer, just sit there and listen. You had one task in life, to befriend Harry Potter and help him become strong enough to defeat Tom Riddle. Could you do it, no you couldn't. You constantly let him down with your jealousy and petty-mindedness, you even stole Hermione Granger, his true love from him, and then dropped her because she wouldn't give up her successful career. He was supposed to live after defeating Riddle and rejuvenate magical Britain, but now, thanks to you and your ilk it is disappearing slowly."

'_Ilk?' _puzzled Ron,_ 'What have North American deer got to do with where I am?'_

Ron tried to speak but the glare stopped him again and he saw a skeletal hand open a folder with his name on it. The skeleton's skull tilted forward, to Ron it looked like it was reading something, but how could an eyeless skeleton read?

_'Need to cut down on the cheese before bed.'_ He thought. _'Mum said eating cheese before bed would give me nightmares, I'll tell her in the morning when she wakens me for work.'_

"Let's see, Ronald Bilius Weasley, died aged 42 from coronary failure, weighing 235 pounds. When told to change his diet or risk dying by his Healer, stopped eating three bacon sandwiches for breakfast and changed to sausage sandwiches, cut one course from his five course lunch, unfortunately chose to cut the fruit course. When advised to increase his daily intake of fruit and vegetables, started eating Honeyduke's fruit and nut chocolate instead of the standard bars and adding a dash of lime to his vodka instead of coke. Life expectancy should have been 135 to 150 years."

"You have been given a chance, we want you to go back to your 11 year old self and help Harry Potter live and survive Riddle, if you want to do this please leave by the door on the left, if not leave by the door on the right."

The last thing Ron heard was the sound of a skull banging on a table as he walked through the right hand door thinking _'Brilliant, I get to go back to Hogwarts and all that lovely food.'_


End file.
